The Ambiguous Duo
by Titled Heart
Summary: Ask anyone at the Palm Woods and they will tell you the same thing. If there were one couple who lived in the hotel that were so obvious, yet not confirmed, it was Carlos and Logan. SLASH Crack fic. Not Cargan.


_Do not be put off by the word count! I promise this isn't as long as it looks! _

_Okay, now, this is just something I pulled straight from the comedy part of my brain. Total parody. I got the idea when I was talking to a friend from work about this old cartoon I used to watch when I was a kid (and it's totally NOT a kid's show at all...not sure why I was watching it) called The Ambiguously Gay Duo. I used to run around my house singing the theme song...and my parents would just laugh at me. I'm being absolutely serious when I say my parents did not believe in too much censorship, unless it was porn, I pretty much had free reign to watch or read anything I wanted and it's made me a lot more tame than if they had tried to control everything. XD Okay...end rant..._

_So anyways, I was watching it and this crack idea popped into my head. Now, there are two endings to this...they're both on this single chapter (hence the word count) because I couldn't decide what couples I wanted! So I wrote endings with both sets. Mostly due to XChemicalXFallXPanicX and ATLReview. Those nerds wouldn't let me have the couple I REALLY wanted be in this, so I wrote both to appease them AND myself. (No...I seriously couldn't decide...)_

_This is kind of a special thanks to all those who reviewed the last chapter of Her Sacrifice. I was feeling really down because I had ONE review the first 24 hours, then only two by the end of the second day (again...Jakii and Jared...) but they slowly started trickling in. I hate basing things on reviews, but it's how I know whether or not I'm doing a good job. So thanks to all of you who reviewed, this is dedicated to all of you. Okay, this author's note is far too long now._

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Ask anyone at the Palm Woods and they will tell you the same thing. If there were one couple who lived in the hotel that were so obvious, yet not confirmed, it was Carlos and Logan. At the forefront of every resident's mind was always the question: were they or weren't they? Most leaned towards the former.

The signs all pointed to yes. Every affectionate caress Carlos seemed to love placing upon the fairer skinned boy, every impromptu wrestling match Logan initiated (which was outside his characterization already). It just seemed so obvious that they were together. Girls practically swooned when they saw the two come out of the elevator, touching each other in some way. The way they acted was just so romantic.

And of course there were those moments where Carlos would come up behind Logan and just smack him straight on the ass. If that weren't the most telling, then Logan's responding smirk was. They were just one step away from kissing most of the time they were around each other.

But every time someone got up the nerve to ask, it always ended in the same confusion.

"So," Jo started, awkwardly coming up to the two boys as they shared a lounger while Carlos slathered Logan in sun screen. They both looked up at her pleasantly, small smiles adorning both of their features as if they couldn't be happier than they were at that exact moment in time. "How is everything going?"

Logan raised an eyebrow at her then looked over his shoulder at the shorter Latino. "Um, everything's great?" His response came out as more of a question than anything, and Carlos bit the side of his lip as he looked down, trying to hide a smile.

"Oh, okay." Jo nodded, twisting her hands together. "So, everything between you two is going pretty good?" Again, the two boys exchanged glances.

"Yeah..." Logan drawled, his voice lilting at the very end. He didn't seem to really understand where this conversation was leading. "Everything's great for all of us." Carlos nodded in agreement, bouncing slightly in his own excited way, the bottle of sun screen gripped tightly in his hands.

"Great great great!" The Latino exclaimed, his hand shooting out flamboyantly while the sun screen came flying out and into Logan's hair. "Oh, sorry Loge." They both laughed, Logan wiping the bit of white goop from his cheek.

"S'not like I'm not used to it." The brunette shrugged, once again exchanging a glance with the Latino sitting behind him. They both began giggling conspiratorially as Jo's eyes widened. She smiled and said her goodbyes before hurrying off, Camille _had_ to hear all about this.

Carlos and Logan watched her go with confused expressions on their faces. Everyone in the pool area around them began whispering amongst themselves, having obviously seen the whole interaction and determining that it did, indeed, point in the affirmative direction that the two of them were in fact together.

"Okay...maybe we should just go back to the apartment and wait for Kendall and James to finish their game." Logan suggested, rising to his feet and holding his hand out for his friend. "We can come back with them later. Everyone's acting weird today." Carlos took his hand and snapped himself up, his chest coming in contact with his friend's arm as he looked around at everyone as well.

They made their way back up to the apartment, coming under scrutiny several times as they walked through the lobby to the elevators. By the time they got back to the apartment, however, they were leaning against each other and laughing at something Carlos had said, their arms wrapped around each other as they walked through the door.

"You know, if I didn't know you any better, I might be jealous that you have your arms around my boyfriend." The loud comment made the two look at each other questioningly and back to the speaker.

"Oh come off it, Kendall." Logan scoffed, pulling away from his best friend and walking towards the two boys who were on the couch. Both of the tall boys were looking at their significant others with grins while their racing game was paused on the screen, controllers still at the ready in their hands.

"What made you two come back up here?" James asked, leaning his head back and puckering his lips at Logan, who smiled and landed a peck on his boyfriend. "You smell like sun screen." He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know, everyone was acting weird down there while I was putting sun block on Logan so he wouldn't burn to a crisp while we waited for you guys." Carlos responded, crossing his arms over the back of the couch behind Kendall's head and putting his chin on the blonde's shoulder. "And Jo...she was being _really_ weird." Logan nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, she kept asking us questions. Like if everything was going good between us." The short brunette waved his hand flippantly in the air as he leaned on the space behind his own boyfriend.

James and Kendall shared a look before bursting into loud, obnoxious laughter. Carlos looked to Logan who just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"You do realize that everyone at the Palm Woods think you two are a couple, right?" Kendall asked through gasping breaths, giggles punctuating each couple of words.

"Yeah, I heard Camille talking about it yesterday." James chimed in, tears of mirth shining in his eyes as he reached back to tousle Logan's hair. Carlos's jaw had dropped and his eye was twitching as he looked to his best friend.

"Ew." Was all he could get out. Logan mimicked his sentiments with the same conviction.

"I love you, Carlos, but it's strictly platonic." Logan said, feeling a shudder of disgust pass through his body and his lip curling in annoyance.

"Yeah, whatever that word means, it better be something like a brother." Carlos responded, burrowing his nose into Kendall's neck. Logan sighed in exasperation, nobody ever understood him when he talked anymore...

"It's alright, baby." Kendall cooed, patting the top of the Latino's head with a restrained smirk. "Just stop being so affectionate with each other and they'll have no reason to think the way they do."

The four boys sat in amiable silence for a moment before Logan let out a groan. "Damnit!" He lamented, his head falling into his hands as he glanced at Carlos. "The sun screen got on my face..."

Carlos looked at him blankly for a moment, then fell to the floor laughing as the other two boys wondered what they had missed down at the pool.

_**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**_

**Alternate Version with Kogan/Jarlos Ending**

_**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**_

"Gross, Kendall." Carlos stuck his tongue out, pulling away from Logan and hopping over the back of the couch and onto James. The two taller boys laughed and paused their race as the Latino began smothering the tall brunette in kisses.

Logan walked at a more leisure pace and took the spot next to Kendall, threading their fingers together and smiling up at him. The blonde winked back before leaning in for a kiss. "What made you two decide to come back up here? You smell like sun block, so I know you were already at the pool." The short brunette rolled his eyes and leaned his head onto the blonde's shoulder.

"Everyone was being really weird. And your ex was asking strange questions." He looked up into green eyes. "I think she's finally gone crazy." James and Carlos let out laughs as they came up for air.

"Yeah, she kept asking if things were good between us," Carlos interjected, pointing between himself and Logan. "While I was rubbing lotion on Logan's back." He turned back to James and gave him a droll look. "Didn't want the ghost-boy to burn in the sun." James barked out a laugh from his position under the Latino, ignoring the glare he received from the smart one of their little group.

Kendall sat silent for a moment, a smirk perched on his lips as he thought out his next words. James shared a look with him and the smirk moved to the pretty boy's lips as well. "You two do know that there's talk that you're a couple, right?" At the shocked looks on the shorter boys' faces, he guessed he finally knew something they didn't.

"What?" Logan breathed, his face contorted into a mixture of shock and disgust. One of Carlos's wide eyes twitched as he looked at them from his position perched on top of James.

"Yeah, I heard Camille and Jo talking about it the other day." James spoke up, poking at his boyfriend's open mouth, who coughed and made a face at him.

"Well, I guess it makes more sense now." Carlos laid his head down on the tall brunette's chest with a shrug. "Pretty gross if you ask me."

"Agreed." Logan shook his head, snuggling further into Kendall's side in annoyance. "Why would they even think that?"

The blonde shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Really, Logie?" He asked drolly. "You guys are always hugging up on each other, or joking around. You basically have no personal space when it comes to each other." Logan furrowed his brows as he thought about it.

"But we're all like that." He commented, waving his hands at the close proximity of the four of them, his legs flush against James's side as Carlos laid over the top of him. Kendall shrugged.

"Yeah, but you two are like that in public more often than not." He ran a hand through Logan's hair, kissing his forehead. "It's okay, baby. Just stop being so affectionate in public and they'll have nothing to talk about."

The four boys sat in amiable silence for a few minutes before Logan let out a groan, slapping his hand to his forehead. "Damnit, Carlos. You got it on my face!" He moaned out. Carlos stared at him blankly before letting out a boisterous guffaw.

Kendall looked between the two boys then narrowed his eyes. "Wait. _What_ got on your face, Logan?"

He never got an answer from the flustered brunette or the loud Latino.


End file.
